I think I had a great conversation last Tuesday evening…

I was walking on the St-Catherine street in Montreal, corner of Berri and St-Catherine and I’ve seen that guy in front of the church.

There was that guy, looking like a master student, young of age (25-32) - he was standing beside the crowd and he said… I do not want to ask you for money. He got me with that… I looked his way. He asked everyone if we had chosen to live this life (in this world) in this place (showing the area surrounding us).  The two ladies beside me kept walking, not knowing how to deal with that kind of question… and I felt inside my soul that this question was for me. I answered “YES!” to that guy. - I have chosen to live this life here. which is totally true.

He then said You surely would have preferred to live in harmony with nature enjoying looking at the forest and dancing under the snow… But i answered than man have been banned from that sacred land that is Eden because the only way now for us to reach harmony with nature is by working for a living. He said “ha-ha!” and he told me he’s Jesus Christ, … and I added that we killed him before… and there after he asked me - Are you a man or a machine? I answered… - Both man and machine. I added… I have chosen to live this life here in this area … and I don’t know if it is the purgatory or hell… he added this is the purgatory.

I decided to do more meetings since this summer I wasn’t doing a single one per week… How do I feel about it ? Happy ? Sad ? Tired ? Exhausted ? Anxious ? Free ?

I’m doing 4 to 5 a week and feel fine with that decision since it’s the only way for me to focus on recovering a sane way of living.  Also I do another kind of meetings and I want to share these with you : I have a friend who created a meeting of the peace for people seeking friends and a place to have a discussion about an open topic. So we meet every week and have a good time chatting. 

There is also the pastoral meeging which helps me to understand my emotions, my feelings and how should I live my new life since I don’t want to turn my destructive habit in some other similar destructive behavior.

I try to feel good with myself and happier everyday.

If you don’t know where to start, and feel ready to make a big jump towards a healthier lifestyle, then you can try to go to a rehab center like Maison Jean Lapointe. They helped me a lot.

You have to understand that a gambler is sick for the rest of his life… but may stop the progression of his disease. There are people who want to help that person to understand what is wrong and how to get healthier. For someone located in Quebec province, the best ressources are in Montreal and best of all: it’s free for gamblers. Visit them in the Old Montreal or make a call, change your life for the best, you diserve it.

Today is a big day for me because it’s my first big step towards a healty lifestyle. I had a meeting with a financial expert from P.A.F. and was pleased to be greated as a new customer. They have helped over two hundred gamblers to pay their debts, pay the bills, do the grocery and manage their budget.

I feel ready to put an end to my destructive habit of making bets on everything and for once, I’m willing to stay out of bars. I’m proud of myself and happier than ever before. The true wisdom is to enjoy the moment while being aware of the future.

Today is an important day in my life. I’m now 27 years old, and I’ve had an addiction problem since i’m young. At the age of 6 I was already addicted to sugar rush. Those candies you get for free at halloween, well I never could get enough of these…  I added to that addiction another one as bad: games, mostly video games on computer and gaming consoles. When I got older, I tried to smoke grass and cigarettes, then moved on to peep shows and then back to smoking drugs and quit all these… What was the turning point was over five years of gambling addiction to video games machines (cards, slots and keno) which kept me in debt and close to bankrupcy for all that time.

I understood the roots of my problem. Experts say that the human has to socialize with others, talk about his feelings and experiences to stay sane. Well I’ve been alone for so long… I decided to go to meetings for gamblers and drinkers to socialise and help myself with my problem.

I also decided to get back my freedom: I will ask financial experts to help me managing my budget and money income and will start paying back my debts which have been unpaid for more than three years now. My first meeting is today, 3:30 pm and I’m proud of myself like never before. :o)